Oh the Horror!!!
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1 1/2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips
Line a baking sheet with waxed paper and set aside. Pour the chips, peanut butter and butter into large microwave safe bowl. Cover lightly with plastic wrap. Microwave on high for about one and half minutes. Stir well with a rubber scraper until melted. Allow the chocolate mixture to cool slightly, about two to three minutes. Fold in the marshmallows and stir with the rubber scraper to coat completely with the chocolate mixture. When the chocolate mixture has cooled enough for you to handle (with you clean dry hands), remove the marshmallows from the chocolate mixture and arrange them in sets of three onto your baking sheet. Keeping marshmallows close together, form random doggie poop shapes. Drizzle the remaining chocolate mixture evenly over each doggie dropping. Chill for about an hour (or until firm) in the fridge.
1 and 1/2 pkg (12 oz) chocolate chips
1. Line the bottom of a 9 inch square pan with waxed paper.
Really Gross: Make sure you present your diarrhea delight on toilet paper wads!
Creepy Witch’s Fingers
Yield: 5 dozen
1 c Butter, softened
In bowl, beat together butter, sugar, egg, almond extract and vanilla. Beat in flour, baking soda, and salt. Cover and refrigerate 30 minutes. Working with one quarter of the dough at a time and keeping remainder refrigerated, roll heaping teaspoonful of dough into finger shape for each cookie.
Press almond firmly into 1 end for nail. Squeeze in center to create knuckle shape. (Accompanying picture showed long rolled shape with bulge at center for knuckle; you puff it out rather than squeeze it in.) Using paring knife, make slashes in several places to form knuckle.
Place on lightly greased baking sheets; bake in 325F (160C) oven for 20-25 minutes or until pale golden. Let cool for 3 minutes. Lift up almond; squeeze red decorator gel onto nail bed and press almond back in place, so gel oozes out from underneath. You can also make slashes in the finger and fill them with “blood.” Remove from baking sheets and let cool on racks. Repeat with remaining dough.
Yield: 10 servings
1 Flower pot (new)
This is a joke, a bit of whimsy to lighten up your next party. The cake is really a quick mix dessert made with Oreo cookies and soft squishy stuff. The trick is to capture everyone’s attention with an announcement of some sort, and as you are speaking, trowel out some of the dirt from the flower pot around the flowers and eat it. May be followed by a worm dug out of the “dirt”. You may substitute vanilla pudding for the chocolate if you want, and use up to 20 oz of Oreo’s. Please use a clean new plastic flowerpot or take the precaution of lining a clay pot with foil and wrap the stems of live flowers if you use them in order to prevent any toxins from entering the dessert. Crush the cookies until they resemble potting soil. Set aside. Cream the butter or margarine, cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth and fluffy. Set aside. Combine the pudding mix and milk until well blended. Then fold in the whipped topping. Gently fold the cream cheese and pudding mixtures together. To put the “cake” together, layer one-third of the cookie crumbs followed by 1/2 of the pudding mixture, 1/3 of the crumbs, the rest of the pudding mixture and topping with the balance of the crumbs. Refrigerate 10-12 hours before serving.
Remove from refrigerator, decorate with flowers. Serve by digging out portions with the trowel. Serves 10 to 12.
Chocolate Armpit Hairs
3 large shredded wheat bundles
Break up shredded wheat bundles into single long strands, so that they have the appearance of armpit hairs. Set aside. Place the honey, brown sugar, chocolate chips, and butter in a medium sized heavy saucepan and heat over low to melt. Gently stir mixture with a rubber spatula. Mixture should be smooth and glossy. Remove the saucepan from burner and place it on a heat safe work surface. Gently fold in shredded wheat. When the shredded wheat is completely coated, scoop it onto wax paper in nine equal portions. Use a fork to gently rake “hairs” into one direction. To set Chocolate Armpit Hairs, place them in refrigerator for about thirty minutes. If there are any hairy bundles left over, keep them stored in the refrigerator.
Purchase the plastic bowl that fits in a child’s potty training chair (they sell them at places like K-Mart). Wash the bowl and prepare lemon Jell-O per package directions. Float miniature O-Henry bars in it, refrigerate, and serve.
Use a new or clean gold fish bowl. In the bottom, use red hot or Jelly Belly gravel beans. Mix up, as much blue Jell-O and the bowl will hold. Mix using ice cubes and cold water instead of just cold water as called for on the box. Pour this into the bowl over a knife blade or something to keep from disturbing the gravel. If you want it to have seaweed, poke in a couple of purple endive or something similar down in the gravel. When the whole thing starts to jell, use a wooden skewer to push gummy fish into different parts of the bowl. You can even place a plastic diver man.
Take your average cake mix. Bake it up in 2 metal bowls–1 bigger than the other. One unmolded, cut the bigger one (the “body”) in half, horizontally. CAREFULLY scoop out an adequate cavity in each half. FILL with well-whipped set green Jell-O, and reattach the halves. You can do the same thing for the head too. Frost black, arrange on serving platter. Use licorice sticks as legs. Use 2 BIG green gumdrops and 6 little ones as eyes. When the cake is cut into, it spurts green goop, just like a real spider when stepped on.
6 English muffins
Split muffins and place on an ungreased cookie sheet, making sure they don’t touch.
Spoon a thin layer of sauce on top then cover the sauce with a layer of shredded cheese. Set aside.
Pour the Parmesan into a small bowl and add five drops each yellow, red and green food coloring until it’s an even shade of mold green. (Use plastic bag to prevent your fingers from staining.) Set aside.
With an adult’s help, broil the pizzas until the cheese has melted andbegun to brown. Remove from oven and let cool about 1 minute.
Carefully sprinkle mold on top of hot pizzas. Allow pies to coolslightly before you slip on a lab coat and serve. Serves 6 peakedpatients.
Body Parts Pizza
8 oz boneless chicken breast halves
Cut chicken into strips. In a medium skillet heat cooking oil over medium heat, Add chicken and cook about 5 minutes. Or until chicken is no longer pink, turning occasionally. Remove from skillet. Add onion to skillet, additional oil, if necessary. Cook about 8 minutes or until onion is tender.
Preheat oven to 425º Place bread shell on a pizza pan or baking sheet. Spread bread shell with alfredo sauce. Top with chicken strips, onion, artichokes hearts, cocktail wieners, tomato wedge and sweet pepper strips. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese. Bake in preheated oven for 10-15 minutes or until heated through. Make 4 servings.
10 oz Frozen Spinach, Thawed
Drain spinach; squeeze dry. In food processor, pure spinach, cheese, sour cream, salsa, onions, garlic, salt and pepper. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours or until thickened slightly. Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes.
Serve with Skeleton Bread
1/2 pkg Frozen Bread Dough (1/2 of 1lb pkg (8oz)
Thaw and let bread rise according to manufacturer’s instructions. Punch down dough; divide in half. Set 1 half aside.
Cut remaining half into thirds. With 1 of the thirds, form head shaped like a light bulb. With scissors, cut eyes, nose and mouth. Place heat at end of greased 17×11-inch rimmed baking sheet. Shape second third into 3-inch long triangle; place, point down, below heat to form body. Divide remaining third of dough into 7 pieces; roll into sausages. Arrange 3 on each side of upper body for ribs. Use remaining piece for neck.
Halve reserved dough. With 1 half, make 4 logs for upper and lower legs; attach to body. With two-thirds of the remaining dough, make 4 logs for upper and lower arms; attach at shoulders.
With remaining dough, make 2 small and 2 large triangles for hands and feet. With scissors, make 4 cuts at broad ends of triangles for fingers and toes; attach to arms and legs. Cover and let rise for 30 minutes.
Whisk egg with water; brush some over joints, pressing to seal. Brush entire skeleton with remaining egg wash; sprinkle with poppy seeds. Bake in 375F 190C oven for about 15 minutes or until golden.